Mish Mash Magazine - Mike Gets Around - Tom Cruise is easily one of the best signers around, and he is also extremely fan friendly. So with that said I have to pose the question… Why does he hate me? And I say this without a hint of irony… The last time I went out for him, I was totally skipped, and I think we even made eye contact… harrumph… So, because I am a glutton for punishment I’m heading out again for Tom. He is taping an episode of a talk show and I have to try and get him… sigh…. Only this time I have a crapload of posters for him to sign. Hey, it’s been a year right? Annette, Scotty, and M’Lou are heading out as well… hopefully we will all be successful… Cause it will be a mad house… A madhouse... and I’m not referring to the 1990 John Larroquette classic film also starring Kristie Alley. This is just a sample of the random shit coursing through my brain today…
3:06 p.m. – I just arrived. It’s one of those days. Traffic was bumper to bumper, and then the parking structure… it was like every stupid person on the planet decided…”Hey, let’s leave the house and explore the world.” Wonderful. I mean people were just stopping for no reason. Cars would stop and ask pedestrians questions, it was like no one had a care in the world or knew what they were doing… I think there should be a rule where you can run these people over and not get arrested... Just a thought…
3:10 p.m. – I fear I’m getting bitter… damn it.
3:11 p.m. – It’s because I have a sore throat and am fighting a cold… Yeah… that’s it…
3:15 p.m. – There are a group of anti-abortion protesters holding signs of mangled children all over Hollywood Blvd. Great, just what I wanted to see, a child’s aborted body… and no I don’t want to read your pamphlet after seeing that… Maybe I should retract that statement about running people over I wrote nine minutes ago… hmmmmmmm…..
3:19 p.m. – No, I stand by that statement… aborted children and all…
3:24 p.m. – There are about… oh God… 20 people here already… I got a decent spot in the chaos though… God, I hope this isn’t a long day…
3:39 p.m. – Traffic was horrible and Annette just texted me that she is running late.
3:42 p.m. – Thank God I’m around some collectors who are decent, not like the ones I was packed next to at the Jonah Hex premiere… dear God I just don’t think I could do that again. Hanging out with cool people makes the time go by so much faster…
4:05 p.m. – I find myself rattling off the acting resume of Ms. Alison La Placa. She was on Fox’s Duet, and Open House and Madhouse with John Larroquette. I have all this random crap stored up in my head and sometimes it just needs to come out. What can I say…?
4:12 p.m. – It is so hot… ugh… there are about 40 people here now... and cars keep coming down the alley. You know, here’s a suggestion, if you see a large mob of people in an orderly line, don’t try to drive your car through them… find a different way to get around, it’s not like there aren’t STREETS… I mean Hello!
4:31 p.m. – M’Lou and Scotty just got here… Oh, and there’s Annette… everyone’s here! Hopefully Tom will come over and sign on the way in and on the way out…
4:41 p.m. – I just heard there is going to be some stunt where Tom hangs from a wire and flies across the street… okay, fine a stunt. It’s just funny to me that not too long ago he was the biggest star in the world and now… well… he’s hanging on a wire and flying across the street like he's a stupid human pet trick… sigh… I wish Knight and Day was doing better for ya man, I really do…
4:51 p.m. – I actually want to see Knight and Day, which is like the kiss of death for movies this summer. I really am bad luck for movies and their box office sales…. Ah well… Someone even blamed me for Sex and the City 2 being a disappointment. I blame the karaoke scene…
5:07 p.m. – I'd heard the taping was earlier today, but the sassy security guard just told me how wrong I was… I was just schooled! Lol… She really is sassy… I respect sassy.
5:22 p.m. – Oh my God, any time now… I really hope he signs on the way in….
5:31 p.m. – Scotty brought a couple laserdiscs… he wants to get Interview with the Vampire done, I already have my one sheet finished… lol… Sorry, I had to throw that in there…
5:42 p.m. – Security is toying with us… they look over at the gate... walk by, and then... nothing… sigh… Oh well…
5:46 p.m. – Oh wait… shit the gate is opening….
5:48 p.m. – Tom’s here… everyone is calling out… He looks over and waves and walks straight inside… wow… I have to say I’m a little shocked… I figured he would do it on the way in and the way out… Wow… well … here’s to three more hours! Oh god…
6:01 p.m. – M’Lou and Annette took off to watch the high wire happening… lol… Scotty just said he might leave….
6:09 p.m. – A lot of people have run to the other side to watch the stunt happen… Apparently, M’Lou got a good spot… Well, so she’s texting me…
6:14 p.m. – I’m going to try and quote M’Lou as best as I can… she just texted me, “My balls are getting larger everyday… security told me I could stand here for the stunt, then they told me to leave, and I said NO! You said I could stand here…” LOL… Only M’Lou… apparently, and she can clarify this, security said she could stand there, then they said they needed to clear the area but she wanted to get footage, and pitched a fit, so they put her in a really rad spot to watch the stunt… lol.. Good for her! [Editor's Note: M'Lou clarifies! Nobody steps between M'Lou and her footage!]
6:16 p.m. – And I can only verify this by action and not visually… but her balls are getting bigger everyday. That’s called Getting Around!
6:18 p.m. – I have no idea what happened to Annette… She’s gone, like the box office for Jonah Hex.
6:31 p.m. – I think that the stunt is over…I’m really not sure though…
6:43 p.m. – Yeah, it has to be over… M’Lou got amazing footage of the wire stunt… Coolness…
6:52 p.m. – I think Annette left because she wasn’t feeling well… oh… I’m trying to text her…
7:01 p.m. – Holy shit, there was a robbery at Hooters! Two guys tried to hold the place up at gunpoint and the patrons threw chairs at them. I’m telling you, it’s a strange strange day…
7:12 p.m. – Annette’s back, in her words, “I was feeling sick, and thought I would get some air, and then I saw chairs flying at Hooters, and there was a robbery and after all that excitement I felt better! So, I’m back for Tom!”
7:31 p.m. – Again, thank God I’m standing with some cool people. Ugh… I’m a little nervous though, cause last time I got shafted for Tom (I did get one by the skin of my teeth!) and this time, I don’t want to get shafted again. I’m convinced he hates me… Or he hates tall pasty Canadians named Mike, either way.
7:43 p.m. – Good lord, this is taking forever!
7:49 p.m. – The band is sound checking outside. Ugh… There’s nothing worse than sitting through a band you don’t like…
7:58 p.m. – I really thought we would be out of here by now. He really is taking his sweet time getting out… His segment has to be over by now…
8:05 p.m. - There is an outdoor concert, and they’ve started, and I hope to Jesus they are almost over… Sublime is done; Sublime with Rome is not Sublime… Just putting that out there…
8:13 p.m. – What really sucks is, if Tom doesn’t come over before the concert is out then all the people from the concert are going to run over and there will be even more chaos.. There are about 100 people here already…
8:19 p.m. – Annette just texted me she can’t feel her toe.
8:34 p.m. – Still nothing… The concert is over and there are oh… 300 or so people here… This is going to suck.
8: 45 p.m. – What the hell is taking so long… I know he’s a nice guy, even though he hates me… I’m cool with that as long as he signs my damn poster! Lol…
8:54 p.m. – Okay, something is finally happening… here he comes! I got a good spot right at the barricade, I see him coming... he bypasses us… goes around us and down the side… right over to Annette, Scotty and M’Lou!!!… AHHHHHHH He does hate me. Tom is signing up and down the barricade for everyone, and taking time to do pictures… We are all just waiting here, not wanting to lose our spots.
9:04 p.m. – I’m being crushed even though Tom isn’t near me… I mean crushed… Ugh…
9:11 p.m. – He’s finally coming this way. I have my Mission Impossible III poster out… an original from the UK... He’s signing all AROUND my poster, and people are slamming their crap over mine! I mean, it’s like they are animals. I keep asking him to sign the poster, and Tom keeps missing it. He even looks at me and just passes me by. He really does hate me. I don’t understand…
9:14 p.m. – I’m trying so hard to get this poster done, and he’s like refusing… sigh... Now security just told me to stop pushing… I’m like, dude I’m in the front, how can I push anyone… I’m being pushed… DUH!
9:18 p.m. – I’m giving up and running around to the fence… This is where I had to go last time. Annette runs over with me. She got her poster signed and personalized… The other guys around me got 4 and 5 I got a rock! Sigh… Scotty even got both of his done!
9:25 p.m. – I’m holding out my Risky Business poster, and Annette took pity on me and is holding out my A Few Good Men poster even though she’s holding it through the fence and not over it, which of course is cutting off her circulation… sigh… God bless her.
9:29 p.m. – Finally he’s coming this way, and I ended up getting my Risky Business poster done, signed in black on the black… sigh… Then I flip the board over for Rain Man… He has the black pen... wait… but he switches to a white paint pen... he signs one for someone else with the white pen and then does my poster… in the white area with a white pen… I just can’t win…. I mean he does hate me… it’s the truth… I don’t even hold out the Mission Impossible III poster cause lord knows that’s not getting done… sigh…
9:31 p.m. – Annette is holding out the A Few Good Men poster and gets the most beautiful signature ever on it. I mean it’s stunning… Cause it’s Annette… Someone even says, guys you’re crushing the little girl! LOL… God bless her for helping me… And at least I got the other two done right? I’m happy, but I’m not happy about getting skipped… Sigh… What a long day. On a side note on the way home Annette got sick, I almost got into a car accident, and I saw a rat run across the Jack in the Box parking lot after I got my chicken pita… Can I tell you how happy I am this day is over? Ugh…
Autograph Article 
